Theatre review: Sister Act

I've so far managed to avoid every incarnation of Sister Act The Musical that's run in London, not out of any particular animosity towards it, just because the idea's never really grabbed my interest. I was quite happy to skip the latest production as well, which was originally due to run exactly two years ago, then got postponed again last year. Due to star the source film's leading lady Whoopi Goldberg, it was a hot ticket but I was put off by the idea of the venue. Two years and two reschedules later, Goldberg was no longer available, but to be honest Beverley Knight was a bigger draw for me personally; she leads a cast of big names that include Jennifer Saunders, Keala Settle, Clive Rowe, Lesley Joseph and Lizzie Bea. Alan Menken (music,) Glenn Slater (lyrics,) Bill & Cheri Steinkellner (book) and Douglas Carter Beane's (additional material) musical moves the film's story to 1977, to give the songs disco and Motown influences.

Deloris Van Cartier (Knight) is a failed club singer who witnesses a mob murder, turns witness and has to be hidden for her own protection. She's placed somewhere nobody would think to look for her, among the nuns in a local convent.

The church is losing parishioners and is threatened with being sold for redevelopment, so the Mother Superior (Saunders) is in a particularly crabby mood, frustrated by having the flamboyant Deloris masquerade as Sister Mary Clarence. But when Deloris discovers the convent's terrible choir, she proves to be the salvation the Mother Superior was praying for: Teaching them to sing and arming them with hymns that sound more like disco, she turns them into a huge draw that brings in new crowds to the church, and a Papal visit diverts to Philadelphia just to hear them.

And while I didn't have a bad evening, it didn't confound any of my expectations, positive or negative: The musical itself boasts a couple of standout songs like "Take Me To Heaven," "Fabulous Baby!" and the finale "Spread the Love Around," while Rowe's first big number as Eddie, "I Could Be That Guy," starts out supremely dull before livening up and including a show-stealing double costume reveal (I might be able to tell you more about Rowe's songs but there appeared to be some unspoken rule that as soon as he started singing half the auditorium would get up and rush to the Ladies' loo.)

There's sometimes a jarring tonal disconnect as the mobsters have a couple of numbers that, while funny, seem to have come from a different, much darker and more cynically comic show, as "When I Find My Baby" sees Curtis (Jeremy Secomb) do a seemingly romantic number that's actually about the ways he plans to kill Deloris, or in "Lady in the Long Black Dress" his goons compete over who can most effectively seduce a nun. And could there be anything more American than a subplot about Eddie the cop not being allowed a gun until he's got over his personal demons and can "heartwarmingly" shoot people again?

In general the comedy elements also have mixed success - some of the witty lines and setpieces are very funny, but they're a little bit too few and far apart. In the second act in particular the writers almost seem to forget it's meant to be a comedy - there's quite a lengthy succession of songs where the characters take turns pouring their hearts out, before the pace finally picks up again for a slapstick setpiece as the dubious group of ethnic stereotypes that make up the criminal gang get foiled by the nuns' inventive fighting techniques.

I guess the change of lead actress isn't an obvious one - Goldberg is known for her comic rather than singing chops, whereas her replacement is the opposite. If not side-splitting, Knight does throw herself into the ridiculous sides of her character enough to make her fun and endearing, but it's of course in the songs where her powerhouse voice is really the star. As novice Sister Mary Robert, Bea gets the next most showcases for her voice, and while Settle throws herself into the silliness of the hyperactive Sister Mary Patrick, it's a shame she doesn't get a solo number of her own*.

And nobody even uses the line "nun chucks."

Where Bill Buckhurst's production is really fighting a losing battle though is the venue itself: With over a thousand seats more than the Palladium or Drury Lane, Hammersmith Apollo is a concert venue better known for music and comedy gigs than theatre, and with good reason. The venue made financial if not artistic sense when Goldberg was due to headline, as she could do a limited run and still get many thousands of bums on seats. With her no longer attached this production strongly feels like it's only going ahead because it would cost more to cancel, and the unsuitability of the venue is immediately apparent: After London this is going on tour, and in order to fit the set into the remaining theatres, Morgan Large's design has installed a new proscenium arch that uses only half the actual stage.

If there's elements of the comedy and atmosphere that don't click, it's hard not to blame the vast venue at least in part. I was only about halfway back in the Circle, but I still had to rely on the voices to confirm that yes, the actors advertised were indeed the ones on stage, and a story that requires most of the cast to wear identical costumes doesn't help (it's hard to tell ant-sized people in the distance apart even if they're not all wearing wimples, in a large ensemble of nuns the cast list stubbornly refuses to call a Nunsemble.) Large's colourful designs and particularly Tim Mitchell's lighting are doing a lot of the heavy lifting in bringing the show to energetic life for those people who can't afford £250 plus multiple booking fees for the privilege of seeing the actors' faces.

So in the end not a waste of an evening - I largely went for the cast and their voices, and they certainly don't disappoint in the musical's better moments. I was also right in my reservations about the show as well - outside of a couple of standout numbers the musical itself isn't a stone-cold classic, and putting it in a venue even the Coliseum would call "a bit of a barn" doesn't help one bit. The show is losing some of the cast's star names on its upcoming national tour, but I suspect it will gain far more in actual emotional connection to the audience.

Sister Act by Alan Menken, Glenn Slater, Bill & Cheri Steinkellner and Douglas Carter Beane is booking until the 28th of August at the Eventim Apollo Hammersmith; then continuing on tour to Dublin, Birmingham, Leicester, Cardiff, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Milton Keynes, Plymouth, Norwich, Belfast, Dartford, Llandudno, Woking, Bristol, Leeds, Sheffield, Ipswich, Southampton, Nottingham, Liverpool, Wolverhampton, Canterbury, Newcastel, Oxford, Stoke-on-Trent, Edinburgh, Cheltenham and Derry/Londonderry.

Running time: 2 hours 45 minutes including interval.

Photo credit: Manuel Harlan.

*I feel like Settle got a full year's UK work visa to do her couple of months' stint in & Juliet, and decided she might as well stick around and use all of it. You can next see the globally-beloved star of The Greatest Showman in panto in Northampton. No, that's not a joke.